Your answer could redefine your entire life and leadership. Here's my story...
In 2018, while witnessing our triumphant second NCAA Championship in two years, and the third in four, with the Williams Women's Soccer team, I found myself in an unexpected pool of emotions. Amid the euphoria, the cheers, and the team bursting with joy, I sat silently on the sidelines. Exhausted, empty, and disconnected from the beauty of the moment that was unfolding before me.
Surrounded by a loving family – my husband and three beautiful daughters, and a supportive community of extended family, players, parents, friends, and colleagues who appreciated me for who I was, not just for the championships I brought home, I finally I felt lovable. Yet, beneath the personal contentment was a professional void that launched me onto a journey of introspection and self-discovery - and ultimately leaving coaching all together.
Upon much reflection, It wasn't the job, it was me. I now understand that for much of my life, I operated like a motorboat. Fear was my fuel – the fear of not being loveable, of not being worthy without extreme success – that led me to create noise, make waves, but rarely find fulfillment in my journey.
This 'motorboat' way of life and leadership, powered by fear, goes full-throttle, generating commotion, and seems impressive. But, when the fear subsides and the fuel runs out, the motorboat is left stranded, revealing a sea of victories but an unsettling emptiness within.
What if instead, I had the wisdom to transition to being a sailboat, in life and leadership, instead of a motorboat? Sailboats, like the one I see myself as now, glide smoothly, propelled by the wind—a sustainable, abundant force of nature. They're not about relentless speed - although they can go fast! - but about a steady, harmonious journey. The ride is intense, but tranquil, the navigation mindful and with purpose. A sailboat harnesses natural forces and adjusts subtly to the wind's will, deriving as much joy from the journey as from reaching the destination. Now, as a sailboat, gently harnessing the winds of change, the feeling is simply incredible.
The 'Sailboat Leadership' model, as Executive Coach Bryan Franklin explains, is driven by love, or 'surplus.' These leaders enjoy a peaceful, fulfilling journey and live and lead with love instead of fear - and never run out of gas.
Unfortunately, It wasn't until much later that I discovered Franklin's mental model that accurately encapsulates this dichotomy. Awareness of this mental model left me pondering—how many Coaches and Athletic Leaders out there are unknowingly piloting their motorboats, driven by fear, creating a disturbance and feeling unfulfilled?